Cougs! Beavers! You’re Welcome, America

Happy Hump Day evening, Cougar Nation! I've interrupted a pretty intense game of FIFA 13 to tune into Cougar hoops for the first time in what feels like weeks. I'm thinking this is because it's been weeks. It's good to be back. Really, I'm happy to be watching anything at all. My tv died over the weekend so this post comes with a huge shout-out to my buddy Paul for coming through with a n extra flat screen at a moment's notice. First world problems resolved, let's watch some hoops! I'll take you through the action as I saw it. Just be warned that I may be blogging about the season premier Survivor if this thing gets ugly. More after the jump…

 

7:03 – The first thing I heard when I turned on the tv was that the Cougs will be without the services of Mike Ladd tonight. My response was to check out the cable guide, just in case. I used to be an optimist. Dexter Kernich-Drew gets the start, by the way.

7:05 – Plenty of good seats available at Beasley tonight. American Idol:1 – Cougar Athletic Budget: 0

7:06 – It's the Bone Zone!! Is our men's head basketball coach trolling at this point? I feel like maybe he is.

7:08 – Brock Motum looks aggressive early, taking the first three shots. I should note he missed all 3. The devil's in the details and all that.

7:10 – Hey, Royce Woolridge, nice shot from threeeeee! Cougs lead! (3-2)

7:11 – As Andrew Furney can attest, I'm not the sort of person who would stoop to making jokes about a college athlete's weight and/or physique so Joe Burton is safe tonight. Not safe? baked goods in the presence of Joe Burton. Welp, I tried.

7:12 – Let's use the first commercial break to take a look at what may be Oregon State's new logo. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

7:13 – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I hope for the sake of Beav fans that this is one of those leaks that proves to be fake.

7:15 – Evidently Roberto Nelson is good. This is one of those things I feel like I should have known before the game. Duly noted though, Roberto. By the way, you look like Drake.

7:18 – If you had Junior Longrus and Bryce Leavitt in "Ken Bone's first sub bingo", congratulations, you're a winner! Cougs trail 13-7. 

7:28 – OSU 18 WSU 11; I'm checking Twitter. Who scores when the five on the floor are Woolridge, Kernich-Drew, Leavitt, Shelton and DiIorio? Nobody.

7:31 – Beavs by 10. The Cougs have jacked up three's on the last several possessions. I'm going to start drinking. Would anyone like to weigh-in on the practice of pouring whiskey into what's left of the Diet Coke in my Subway cup? I'd like to think I'm being efficient.

7:35 – Rather than playing zone, couldn't the Cougs all just sit Indian style in the lane and let the other team shoot? It would be just as effective and would at least get some national attention for being interesting.

7:38 – Brock Motum is 2-11 from the field and he's getting good looks. Aussie, Aussie, Aussie. Oy. Oy. Oy. If there's a silver lining to be had, it's that Oregon State stinks too. Their steadfast refusal to run away with this game is much appreciated.

7:43 – "Let's face it. Transition has not been a strength of Washington State's game." Also not a strength of Washington State's game: basketball.

7:44 – Joe Burton is built like a football center and he just passed a basketball like one. Gotta admit, that was good times. Hey, look out….DaVonte Lacy is happening! Lead cut to 5. Another easy basket. Lead back to 7. Gross.

7:48 – Fittingly and mercifully, the half ends with Oregon State dribbling around not getting a shot off. The Cougs trail at halftime 33-26. At home. To Oregon State.

8:05 – Craig Robinson calls for timeout after just over a minute because he does not value our time.

8:09 – Pressure by the OSU defense has made the Cougar offense go from bad to embarrassing. Beavs by 13. Timeout Cougs. I'm changing the channel and may not make it back.

8:11 – I don't know where the Caramoan Islands are, but Jeff Probst makes them sound super dangerous. Yep, welcome to Counter-progamming with Huddy.

8:24 – I had to come back. DaVonte Lacy Will. Not. Quit. I won't either! I'm blogging this thing until the end baby! (Unless I don't.)

8:31 – There are extended periods of this game where it feels like literally nothing happens. #KenBoneEffect

8:33 – We just scored on ourselves. Brock Motum somehow tipped a virtually uncontested rebound into his own basket. I'm starting to think this may not be our year.

8:37 – "Washington State can't afford to miss too many more of those open looks". You don't say. Shortly after that pearl of wisdom, Motum did in fact knock down an open look to cut the lead to…..9.

8:41 – Going pee and grabbing a beer takes the exact same amount of time as a TV timeout. There are no accidents.

8:43 – It's that thing where Lacy and Motum suddenly start hitting threes to get us back into a game. Gotta get stops, though. The Cougs had two on the last possession, but failed to rebound on both.

8:47 – Down 5, with the ball and the Cougs couldn't get off a decent shot. Sigh.

8:48 – Shelton for 3! Because of course. Talk amongst yourselves as to whether or not that means we got off a decent shot.

8:48:40 – After a Beav layup, Shelton for 3 again!! 1 point game and Beasley is "rocking".

8:49 – Wow. The Cougs get a stop, but fail to rebound again. As if that wasn't enough, they give up a layup, which would still leave it a one possession game, unless you foul, which obviously happened. Missed free throw though! 66-63 OSU. Timeout, Ken Bone, so this oughta be good.

8:55 – The end result of two timeouts is having Shelton go up with an off-balance three off the dribble. 

8:56 – Lacy hits a meaningless three at the buzzer to extend his career high and seal a one point loss. That was a hideous ballgame, but the comeback was exciting, inasmuch as anything in this stupid season can be exciting. There were too many mental lapses on defense, not enough creativity on offense and simply not enough talent. The Cougs are now officially in last place in the conference and lost at home in front of a mostly empty arena to a bad team. To bastardize a "Snatch" quote, Ken Bone is working on his resume. And if he isn't. he [expletive] should be.

Good night, Cougs. 

 

 

 

 

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