The Cure for the Post Season Spectator Blues: Coaching Carousel Drama!

"I'm just sittin here, watchin the wheels go round and round…"

I can’t help it, I find myself at least as interested in all the coaching moves taking place this season as I am in the Bowl games. Of course last year we were right in the thick of it, while this year, with the exception of Jeff Choate’s departure, we are pretty much left to enjoy the action from the sidelines.

So far, for me, this years coaching carousel/musical chairs/jamboree has had a little bit of everything. Read on to bask in the crazy with me…

The coach poaching season is really not close to being over yet, so there is likely more drama to come, but so far there has been plenty of intrigue. Since its kinda what we do here, lets give out some awards:

 

The Bombshell Out of Left Field WTF Head Scratcher


This has to go to Brett Bielema leaving Wisconsin for Arkansas. First, lets be honest, there are some reasons for this move. It appears his salary will be just north Cruella Deville and Richy Rich, but perhaps not quite Scrooge McDuck territory on this scientific scale provided by the University of Chicago School of Economics. Also, despite leading his team to its third straight Rose Bowl, Bielema doesn’t have the best relationship with the Wisconsin fan base. Still, what the hell, Bielema? As major football powers go, I think most people would rate the Badgers just a bit ahead of the Razorbacks even if they occupy roughly the same tier. Also, while Fayetteville is probably unfairly maligned for being in Arkansas, it is at least a lateral move at best from Madison, WI, and I am probably being generous. Also contributing to the bombshellish headscratchiness of this move is its total left field-y-ness. Who even knew this was in the works? At the end of the day it made for great theater and I have been soaking up the glory on various Big-10 and SEC fan forums ever since. Well done Coach Bielema!

 

The Sad and Pathetic Flirtation with Chris Petersen
 

Alrighty, (enter team name here), Step Right Up! You’re the next contestant on Make a Futile Play for Chris Petersen!

Currently the Wisconsin Badgers seem to be the latest contestant in this tiresome annual drama where fans of some "major" program from some "major" conference get all whipped into a frenzy over the latest rumor that according to flighttracker.com a plane from Boise landed at the ariport and the cousin of their ex-girlfriend's boss’s dentist saw Chris Peterson out at lunch with the AD. HA HA HA HA HA, fat chance motherf*&%$rs! Look people, this guy ain’t going nowhere. Wake me up when the Oregon job opens, but even then I’m not putting the chances at any more than 10%.

 

The Really? That’s it? You Fired ____ Just to Hire _____?


This one goes to the Cal Bears. In this recent post Sutra laid out the reasons why this move was a bit more “meh” than expected. Clearly Dykes is a talented offensive coach, and he has something going at La Tech which is a program that has very little business winning football games. BUT, they just fired a very talented offensive coach with a proven record at the BCS level. Was this an upgrade? Did they just trade in their Oldsmobile for a Mercury? Will Cal still field a defense? Do people in the Bay Area even care about football anyway? Who knows, but a world class academic institution with pristine new facilities in an area renowned for its quality of life should be able to land a HOLY SH_T kind of coach. Of course, I’m an idiot so this will probably work out great for them.

 

The Todd Graham (aka, kinda slutty)


It appears the most promiscuous coach of the off season was Butch Jones of Cincinnati. Is there any job he didn’t interview for? After lots of buzz about him landing at Colorado he even (briefly) recommitted to Cincy before bouncing right off to Tennessee. After all the rides he’s taken this off-season I sure hope the Vols used protection.

 

The Slap in the Face


This one was also a candidate for the bombshell out of left field head scratcher, but will have to settle for the Slap in the Face award. It goes to Tommy Tubberville who bolted from Texas Tech to take the job at… Cincinnati. I mean, whoa. So you’re telling me not only did he dump Tech AFTER Dykes was already locked up by Cal, but he dumped them for… Cincinnati? That is cold blooded, Tommy. After the way Texas Tech decided to go about firing Mike Leach I think we can all file this one under, HA HA HA, IN YOUR FACE!

As the season winds down and coaches wrap up their bowl games, there may be more awards to dole out, so sit back and enjoy the season.

GO COUGS!

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