Siesta Motel, Colfax, WA (Reuters)-
After four weeks of tense negotiations, the WSU Football Blogfathers emerged from a dark, smoke filled room to issue their statement about the future of the WSU Football Blog.
The group’s lead negotiator, Coug-A-Sutra, guarded closely by his agent, Skippy Dupree….
sauntered up to the mic to make what was initially billed as a "brief and concise" opening statement. He said:
“When we entered into tough, deliberate negotiations with Bloguin four weeks ago, we had a difficult decision to make…. On one hand, we all really wanted to resign…."
"But even with our overarching need and desire for confidence, correspondence, continuance, and dare I say in the Jeffersonian sense "good continence", we also all knew that the current path was not sustainable. And so we came here today conjointly joined; armed with a common purpose…Yes, we came here today to pursue that one course of responsible action that fit the needs of Cougar Nation— not only for winning football, but for a winning cybercenegenic spirit….
….Yes, dear nation, on this day of reckoning, it is with a very heavy heart that I stand before you today at the Siesta Motel, in beautiful downtown Colfax, in the grand state of W-A, to make this final, penultimate announcement, And that announcement is to say that we, the WSU Football Blog, together will all of our dearest friends, foes, allies, enemies, and clandestine lovers have decided to.."
And with that news, the crowd of 3 (three’s a crowd) at the Siesta Bar promptly resumed their night of drinks, pull-tabs, and pills….
A few minutes later, a jubilant Longball emerged from the women’s washroom, took out a cigar from his breast pocket, lit up, and described the week’s course of events.
“Basically, the whole process was like trying to sign 4 free agents at once with no money or resources. The first step for all of us was Sean saying that he was coming back. I mean, once we had Sean, we had a center, a core, a soul, a BIG TOE if you will..”
“From there, it was one giant cakewalk. Once Sean re-signed, I instantly agreed to a 6 year, Max deal.”
“But then we had to re-sign, Huddy. You see, given the huge success that "Humpday with Huddy" had with the Mascot rankings and what not, the Penguins and Ben Koo tried to lure him to start a new children's blog, replete with a whole Beta site called “Tickle-time with Timmy.”
Thankfully, Huddy wanted none of that, so he too signed a six year max deal.”
“And so, when we had no additional money or resources left on the table, we turned to our main man, the Mike Gminski of blogging…
…who we still call, The Coug-A-Sutra. In essence, we basically told him that we have no money, no resources, no nothing left to offer. Of course, he thought that sounded great, so we asked him to sign his contract by sticking his tongue on a frozen rod….
Of course, he did, and that was that..”
Later, outside the Motel, Coug-A-Sutra offered several cautions to the Millions of Readers of the WSUFB site.
“We’re turning the clock back with this announcement,” he said. “In the days of old, we’d write about sports for about 6 months out of the year, not 12. And for the other half, we’d write about whatever came up: TV shows, Movies, Pilates, 5-7-5 Haikus, Macrame….”
“And so, when we say we’re giving this another go, or another go-round, we’re essentially saying that we’re committing ourselves to be ourselves, or not, whenever we want and wherever we want….. Essentially, anything goes from now on round this here blog…."
And as the Yuletide season falls once again on the great people of Cougar Nation, it seemed comforting to know that, for this section of the world at least, the song will remain essentially the same.
All for now. Go Cougs!